Sunday, December 17, 2017

When It's Hard, Step Upward.

Don't deprive your soul of the agility which it needs to mount up to Him. ~ St John of the Cross
Sometimes I am faced with two choices.

On the one hand, I know what is required of me as a disciple of Christ in a certain situation. Whether it is showing love to someone that is risky or that might possibly backfire on me to denying my needs for the needs of someone else - those are what I know I ought to do.

Yet on the other hand, I have within what I really want to do and that which is easier. Whether it's dwelling and indulging in emotions that rage like currents in my veins to doing what I want even if it denies another person something good - those are what I know I want to do.

So on that threshold before action (or inaction), it comes down to two choices: I will or I want.

And sometimes that choice isn't really coming from a selfish or sinful moment. Sometimes the days are just long and hard and giving one more ounce of myself out for another feels like it would require something of me that isn't there anymore.

Truthfully, often enough, there isn't anything left. The tank is empty. The spirit and will is weak. The right choice is too hard, the wrong choice is more natural. In that moment, I cannot deny my soul the exercise it needs to mount the heights to Him who beckons me.

A simple "Lord, I need your help. I just can't do this," lifts the soul upwards and begins the Spirit's work within to equip me to do what I ought and not what I want. Something is awakened within to the light that calls a heart that is His. If I don't cry out my need for Him, the darkness remains within and makes it harder to choose the life offered to me.

And never, ever, has He failed me. When my cry is genuine, He always meets me where I am and helps me in my need. He is ever faithful and ever willing to help me choose holiness. And in choosing holiness, I am becoming more like Jesus - Him who lived only to please the Father. May each threshold be an opportunity for me to step ever closer to Him, in heart and in deed.


  1. This was wonderful. It is so hard to make this decision at times. Especially when we are so tired and worn!

    Thank you so much for linking up with us at Live Life Well! :)



    1. Thank you so much, Amy. Being tired is a great barrier to making holy choices, but in His strength and grace, we can do it!

  2. I love your honesty and transparency here! It's so real and relatable. I completely understand the feeling of the "tank being empty." Two nights ago, I had a long day, I'd failed at parenting more than I succeeded, and I was done. After putting both girls in bed and starting on my nighttime chores, my 5 year old came running and grabbed my leg. It's always harder to put that control back on after you've taken off your parenting hat for the day, isn't it. I told my husband to please put her back to bed, because I didn't have any niceness left. When she cried for only me, I had to beg God to help me. Please Lord I know you don't want me to behave badly right now. So, I need you to give me the strength to get her back in bed. By His faithfulness, I did well in that moment...although I can't say that for the full day until that point. Sorry for the long comment, your words just spoke to me and that moment.

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us at Live Life Well!

    1. Oh, thank you so much for sharing Jessica - it really encourages me. Sometimes I don't know why I keep writing, but words like you just help me so much. Press into Him, He always provides that little bit extra we need.