Thursday, December 14, 2017

When You Want More Than The Muddle of Motherhood (But, Really, Life Is a Muddle).



If you are anything like me, you strive for the perfect day. Each day, or at the beginning of each week when fresh days are before you, you think, "Now I will carve out the perfect days with my children." 

You have a daily schedule you hope will get you there. You have a Morning Basket you're aspiring to begin your days with the children. You have set up a cleaning schedule to stay on top of dust and cobwebs and dirty walls. And you think you're the Budget Queen - nothing this week will throw off your finances.

Oh, how I long for perfection. 

And yet, at the end of each day, the only perfection in my life I seem to have is the feeling I have of being perfectly disappointed and perfectly frustrated at my lack of making our life coherent. For example,

  • I sit in front of the computer instead of opening my Bible.
  • I plan a day at home but my dear husband needs me to bring something to work for him.
  • I create a daily plan that will make everything "sync" - but I barely make it through two days.
  • I believe in helping the children learn to help around the house but it's just easier to do it myself most days.

And, I know so well, that almost every single wife and mother longs to not be muddling through motherhood. We want Instagram-like days of peace, serenity, and schedules. We want those moments captured of children doing wondrous exploring of the world or cuddle round the family's favourite book. We want order. We want control. We want to feel like we are succeeding in keeping the chaos of life at bay.

But, friends - and how I am saying this to myself - LIFE IS MESSY. Marriage and motherhood are messy. Those Instagram pictures that we all love to aspire to - they are just moments. Moments of joy. Moments to treasure. Moments to glorify God with. (I love what Stacey said here, because it is so true.)

Precious sisters in Christ, if you're getting into God's Word, you will know firsthand that no-one documented in it had it together. Martha - the homemaking queen - didn't have it right. And Mary - who was captured by Christ and got that part right - also doubted Him and His choices. Those women - and every single person in the Bible - are what makes God's Word so needful for me: it is a historical document of people muddling through life with God's hand on them, never letting them go.

But those who suffer He delivers in their suffering; He speaks to them in their affliction." ~ Job 16:15

Though most of our days are not spent in suffering, the muddles of the mundane does not negate us from our Good Lord's deliverance. But, don't think that He picks us up out of the ordinary and drop us into the victorious (that comes later, when we step into glory). 

Rather, as we muck and make up...or interruptions occur that throw us off our schedule (again)...or things just don't go the way we want them to (in order for us to feel "successful")...God delivers us by speaking to us. Our hearts are taught, our souls knitted more closely to His, our bodies are bent towards service more devotedly.

So those moments where visitors are about to come and the house is still a warzone? Capture it on Instagram. And when your husband is burdened by the work on his plate and you're feeling alone in this parenting thing? Relinquish it all to Jesus. Don't fight back. Bend in and let Him lead you.

None of us have it got it. Perfect days. No one really knows what they are doing (though some have more experience at things and so blessedly share their knowledge with us). We are all muddling through this together. And, the more I bring one foot up out of the mud and put the other one down, the more I think this is the way it is meant to be this side of eternity. We just need to remember to stake the Cross right in the midst of the muddle that we might not sink.

--------------------------------------------------------------


Need some encouragement for mothering as a Christian in today's world? My little e-book, Wholehearted Motherhood: Raising the Next Generation With Undivided Hearts, might meet that need.

11 comments:

  1. Your post is so heartfelt and it resonates with me because I felt the pull toward perfect also, especially as a stay-at-home mom. Now my children are in college, and the muddy moments are so far gone. They remember you and all you pour into them!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crystal, thank you so much for your encouraging words. It is so helpful to have mother's with older children standing ahead, encouraging us on our way. Thank you!! x

      Delete
  2. This was so perfect! So many days around here are just muddled through. But when I look back, sometimes those are the best days!

    Thank you for this beautiful post! Sharing!!!

    Hopping over from #MommyMoments

    Blessings,

    Amy

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you so much, Amy! And you are so right, the days when we're on our knees because things are so imperfect - they are the best days for so many reasons!

    Merry Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you so much for linking up with us over at Live Life Well: Encouragement for the Journey! We are so happy to have you and such a great post!!! :)

    Blessings,

    Amy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your words resonate with me so much! I try so hard to get it perfect, even though I know it doesn't exist. Christ wants us to depend on Him, not be so competent that we never ask for His help and Grace. Knowing all of this, I still try to tweek the day and the schedule, and hope things run smooth on the new day. I want to be better in all those things, but I also want to be better at having joy in the mess or muddle. :) So, happy you're sharing your encouragement with us!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel like you and I are totally on the same page :) We know perfect doesn't exist, but we still keep trying to get it. Thankfully, God keeps pursuing us!

      Delete
  6. I can relate to being perfectly frustrated! Thank you for sharing your heart. I popped over from Holley Gerth's page :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for sharing a comment, Jacqi! Merry Christmas!

      Delete
  7. Sarah, I wanted to tell you I featured your post on the Live Life Well Link up! It really spoke to me, thank you. You can see the post here http://www.overwhelmedtofulfilled.com/perfect-day-motherhood-look-like/ I'll also be sharing it on my social media several times this week. Thank you again for sharing. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jessica, thank you SO much! That is such a blessing :D x

      Delete